American Republic Online

NBC Universal’s started a “Green is Universal” initiative Sunday including more than 150 hours of programming designed to raise awareness about environmental issues. The event was kicked off at a football game, where the sports casters turned off the lights in the studio to set a good example. (Not all the lights were cut lest the picture go dark.)

After their significant sacrifice, NBC cut to a satellite feed showing the country’s light pollution from space. Light pollution, the bane of amateur astronomers largely goes unnoticed in this country. Families routinely leave lights on willy-nilly, washing out the very stars people used to worship. But lights pose an even more serious threat than the oft-forgotten light pollution: global warming.

Lights use electricity, and electricity is often created along with sinister global warming gases. For this reason NBC urged Americans to stop the coming obliteration of our species through global warming. TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS. Unless, of course, you pay extra for the power company to route “green” power to your house. Then your lights are fine.

What NBC didn’t foresee in it’s noble cause, was the extent to which people would listen to them. Many people have now realized that their TV emits light (as well as runs on electricity) and turned it off as well. Ratings for the NBC this week have plummeted 23% and are trending downward. “We certainly didn’t expect such enthusiasm on the part of our viewers” said Sandra Mechum, PR Director for NBC Universal.

Other networks seem mostly unaffected as it was primarily NBC viewers that were exposed to the truth about the link between light pollution and global warming. Other industries are filling the void, as there has been a surge of sales for the latest Harry Potter book. Single mother Jane Knight had this to say about the events: “It’s actually been fun. Hanging out with my kids. Reading by candlelight. It’s a lot like camping, but without all the bugs!”