American Republic Online

Internet televangelist Bill Keller on Oprah Winfrey: “…she is the queen of the new age witches.” She’s the prophetess of all the new age movement. “She’s making millions and millions of dollars selling the spiritual crack of our day…leading millions of souls to the flames of Hell.”

Well, alrighty then.

Parents with backbones are now adding a marketing department to their arsenal:

After finding alcohol in her son’s car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old’s misdeed with everyone - by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.”…

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 It’s for the kids!

Interesting piece comparing two stadiums filled with people from natural disasters.  One was filled with blood, rapes, and stabbings (which turned out to not have actually happened) and the other is filled with happy people and rock concerts?

Will FEMA and Bush get credit here?  Does it come down to a competent mayor or perhaps the Gov-inator?  Things to ponder…
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Here’s a good rule of thumb for new college freshmen:

Don’t keep accusing your crazy roommate of stealing from your purse, or you may wake up with her standing over your bunk with a knife…

As ARO pointed out recently, taxes weren’t the main culprit in the Minn. bridge collapse.  As it turns out, pigeons are more to blame (besides the cracked steel and missing bolts).  Apparently “pigeon droppings contain ammonia and acids…”  Maybe we should have open season on some flying rats that promote acid rain (just like we should on the rats with fuzzy tails). 

Great cartoon and history lesson about the true impact of the United States on the world:

On the Fourth of July Americans will cynically celebrate the greatest setback world progress has ever endured in all of human history. The rest of humankind will, of course, be grieving over the dark day when the United States of America was born. To understand the full scope of this tragedy we must look back at the pre-7/04 world and see what it was like to live on planet Earth before 1776.

Prior to July 4, 1776, not a single person in the world starved, got sick, worked hard for a living, or experienced any pain and anxiety. No one had ever been oppressed or unfairly exploited because the oppressive and unfair American system had not yet been created…

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Now Senator Clinton is under fire for her “low neckline.”  The GOP’s wives have already received attention for their endowment.

I suppose we need something to talk about since the election is over a year away…

While toiling away in corporate America, received the following email from our HR department regarding the iPhone (names removed):

Advisory: The Apple iPhone - It’s a Consumer Device not a Corporate One
With all of the hype over the launch of the Apple iPhone, it’s hard not to get caught up in the excitement over the device and want to get one and possibly have Company pay for it. However, be forewarned this device is intended for consumer vs. corporate use! AT&T and Apple have set up procurement of the iPhone so that only an individual can purchase one. Company and AT&T met recently to discuss the iPhone. Here are the key points:
* The iPhone is intended solely for individual purchase. The iPhone can only be purchased from an AT&T, Apple store or Apple.com.
* Procurement of an iPhone comes with a two-year contract commitment with AT&T. This commitment makes the individual liable and is associated with the person’s Social Security Number. This liability can not be transferred to a corporation like Company.
* There are no discounts available for the iPhone or the associated voice and data plans.
* The iPhone is excluded from any and all corporate negotiated pricing and discount agreements.
* AT&T’s internal systems prevent an individually purchased iPhone from being moved to corporate account.
* The iPhone can’t be set up to synchronize with Company’s Outlook/Exchange messaging environment.
Please also consider:
* Company does not support iTunes on our managed PCs.
* Company is not in the business of providing mp3 or digital audio devices as a business tool.
Therefore, although the iPhone may be a exciting consumer device, it is not an appropriate device for use within Company.
Thank you for your attention and compliance in this matter.

The last two points are nice: “please remember that you are supposed to work for us while on company time, not work iTunes.”