American Republic Online

While toiling away in corporate America, received the following email from our HR department regarding the iPhone (names removed):

Advisory: The Apple iPhone - It’s a Consumer Device not a Corporate One
With all of the hype over the launch of the Apple iPhone, it’s hard not to get caught up in the excitement over the device and want to get one and possibly have Company pay for it. However, be forewarned this device is intended for consumer vs. corporate use! AT&T and Apple have set up procurement of the iPhone so that only an individual can purchase one. Company and AT&T met recently to discuss the iPhone. Here are the key points:
* The iPhone is intended solely for individual purchase. The iPhone can only be purchased from an AT&T, Apple store or Apple.com.
* Procurement of an iPhone comes with a two-year contract commitment with AT&T. This commitment makes the individual liable and is associated with the person’s Social Security Number. This liability can not be transferred to a corporation like Company.
* There are no discounts available for the iPhone or the associated voice and data plans.
* The iPhone is excluded from any and all corporate negotiated pricing and discount agreements.
* AT&T’s internal systems prevent an individually purchased iPhone from being moved to corporate account.
* The iPhone can’t be set up to synchronize with Company’s Outlook/Exchange messaging environment.
Please also consider:
* Company does not support iTunes on our managed PCs.
* Company is not in the business of providing mp3 or digital audio devices as a business tool.
Therefore, although the iPhone may be a exciting consumer device, it is not an appropriate device for use within Company.
Thank you for your attention and compliance in this matter.

The last two points are nice: “please remember that you are supposed to work for us while on company time, not work iTunes.”

Here’s something you don’t see everyday… a thief tries to swipe an iPhone during a live interview so that he can own it 9 hours sooner than everyone else.

Unfortunately for him, he’s an idiot and grabs the Fox News mic instead.
Read the rest of this entry »

ARO has diligently reported on the growing squirrel menace. Well, there are new reports of a deranged squirrel attacking three people in Germany. Luckily for the rest of us, it met its end at the hand of a 72 year old man. Experts say that its “behaviour could have been brought on by the mating season, or it could have been ill.”

Nah, I bet it was the 0.6 degree rise in the Earth’s temperature. Global Warming: infecting squirrels everywhere with “the fever.”

(Of course, there is still the question of whether this senior citizen will be charged with an animal rights violation…)

This is just…um…weird.  Type any command in the box.  Try easy ones like “dance” and “wave.”  Then try “read a book” and other random ones…

Hey kids!  Receive calls and messages from friends without alerting teachers or parents!  The Mosquito Ringtone.
Your editor only got 16.7 khz.  For the rest of them, I was only aware of a splitting headache that lasted about 3 seconds.

KFC is actually using this in a new promotion for teens.  I should have majored in advertising…

Taxes are due today. Remember, with the Fair Tax, April 15th (17th) would be just another day… but just in case you need some last minute ideas for deductions from a few tax preparers (from Business Week, 4/23/07):

“Lots of clients with expensive pets or big veterinarian bills ask if they can list their pets as dependents. And only some of them are kidding.” -Mat Tecosky

“A woman wanted to know if she could deduct the value of the excess skin she had removed after losing 200 pounds. She’d donated that excess to a skin bank.” - James Weikart

“Someone tried to deduct his house, which he’d given away to his local fire department to burn up in a training exercise. He couldn’t–because the value of his property went up once the house was gone.” -Steve Bennett

IraqPundit juxtaposes the media’s reaction to McCain’s visit to Baghdad and Pelosi’s visit to Damascus.

My favorite moment is when some Iraqi men at a tea shop actually ask the ABC camera crew to film them, because they are anxious to show that things are better in their neighborhood. Guys, get serious. Claiming that things are getting better may be good for a one-shot, but stir some anti-administration snark in your tea, and you might get your own cable show. 

EDITOR’S NOTE: The ARO Response to our supposed plagiarism is: HERE.

Reality Check (Link to OpinionJournal.com)

Scientific American is boasting about the result of a new poll:

Read the rest of this entry »

There is someone out there who believes the Cuban Embargo will end this year, 2007. It is coming from a some-what obscure source: Lew Rothman. You see, Rothman owns/runs JR Cigars, the world’s largest cigar distributor. In this position, he has contact with a lot of tobacco producers/manufacturers/importers. Recently, he has made the decision to liquidate a large portion of his cigar inventory that is either moving too slow, has too thin margins, etc. in order to 1. gather a horde of cash to buy new cigars and 2. make room for inventory.  Rothman is doing this under the assumption that the Embargo will end this year.  I’m not sure what he knows, but he certainly knows the cigar market.  It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out.  At the very least, they have some great deals on cigars going on.